I don’t stop here much often anymore. Not because I have nothing to say, I do, but because when I’m in a darker place than usual, I tend to close off to people and that goes for the few readers of this blog, too.
I work, a lot. I meet with people I love, I talk to some of them honestly about how I feel, I let them love on me and tell me it’s going to work out very soon. I listen to songs by Elvis Costello and Matthew Perryman Jones and Jack Johnson, over and over again. I work on a book translation, which is really exciting for me, because it will be printed for real and my name will stand alongside that of the author. In the evenings, me and K snuggle under one blanket, keeping our feet warm together, rubbing noses, laughing about stupid things, teasing the cat, loving on the cat, loving on each other, watching marathons of tv shows and sleeping semi-peacefully in our little bubble we call home. I play my guitar on the weekends mostly. Freya makes us laugh every day and we learn every day that the little gray kitty we took in last year was meant to come to us, specifically to us, to make us better people. It may be funny, but our cat teaches us a lot every day. Patience, mostly. Love. Gentleness. Sense of humour. Goofiness. More love.
I’m trying to disappear since the weather changed. Not in a bad way, just a little, to make myself smaller, stop feeling so much and at the same time, feel everything more closely. It’s autumn now, everything falling asleep and coming alive in a different way. Weather is colder, we wear warm clothes, hats, scarfs and we hug more now. Transitions between seasons always make me a little melancholic, but also make me hopeful that the next one is bringing me closer to my biggest dream…
I very much want my life too to be about the little and beautiful things, about little feet on my hand, pink and blue and white and green shoes and hats, dropped toys everywhere and masterpieces of scribbles on my fridge. But at this point, all I have is the hope that someday, it will be. I have almost nothing left but this hope and I’m not letting go of it.
Will write again soon, I promise… ❤